JamShalom Daydreams

Stop Playing the Blame Game

There are times that we look at our life and wish that it was working out differently.  There are times when we are having a day from hell, and wish we could just crawl back under the covers and make it all go away. Life does not always go the way we want it to.  And people -- man, don't even get me started!  I mean, if everyone could just be as perfect as me, well then, of course the world would be perfect! But people disappoint us, and tons of things happen that are beyond our control, and in the end we often find ourselves quite unhappy with the hand life has dealt us.  And clearly, it is all someone else's fault. But maybe it isn't.  And maybe it isn't even my own fault.  Maybe it isn't about blame at all, but rather about trusting that life is a teacher of lessons, and if we move past "whose fault it is?" to the deeper question of "what can I learn from this?" then our sorrow might soon be replaced with wisdom and joy. Attached please find a Shu-Shine for the Torah portion of 'Vayigash': "Stop Playing the Blame Game". May we all be blessed to open our ears and our hearts to the lessons of life, and to grow in the best ways possible towards our fullest selves. This shu-shine is dedicated to my friend Paul Wolff, whose appreciative emails from time to time give me the encouragement to get out the shu-shines as often as I possible can.  Thanks for the loving words, Paul. With Love and a Smile, ~Shu

My Values are My Sword

Sometimes someone does something to us that makes us soooo mad!!  And man, we are ready to let them have it!  We are ready to teach them a serious lesson!  We don't have to put up with their garbage! And so we plan how to get even.  Or maybe we just lash out in the moment without any restraint.  Maybe we scream.  Maybe we do something worse, like hitting or really humiliating them.  But hey -- they deserved it.  I mean really, you should meet this guy -- he really had it coming.  People will actually thank me!  I did the world a favor by finally putting this person in his or her place! But now let's think about this scenario a little more.  OK, so here is this person who is not so nice, or not so careful in how he or she treats other people.  And now you just humiliated him or her in front of everyone in the room.  Do you think that this person is thinking about the deep lesson you taught them?  Or are they actually just now thinking about how much they hate you and everyone else who just stood there and did nothing while you lashed out in return? Think about your own self in a similar situation: When someone starts yelling at you or screaming at you or embarrassing you -- do you keep listening to them?  Or are you just wishing for the terrible moment to end so you can get the heck away from them? On the other hand, if the person spoke gently to you and with love -- even if you had been bad to them -- you would not be able to help but hear them (even if you pretended to roll your eyes...).  Love and softness penetrate where violence and anger only crash into walls of steel. But we forget this Truth when we are dealing with others.  And so we take the short path of an emotional outburst of our anger, and ultimately face the longer path of not having actually done anything to improve our relationship and situation with the other person. Attached please find a Shu-Shine for the Torah portion of 'Vayishlach': "My Values are My Sword". May we all be blessed to have the strength to suppress the initial rage and anger we sometimes feel towards another person, and replace our desire to lash out -- with words of love and wisdom, thereby bringing the world we live in one step closer to being a world of peace, harmony, and understanding. With Love and a Smile, ~Shu

Owning Your Choices, Even When They Hurt

We are once again at war with the Palestinians.  And my heart breaks for their citizens.  Because they are too primitive and too uneducated and too manipulated to have any idea how badly they have been wronged by their own leadership.  They have been endlessly manipulated by their emotions and their pride and their passion.  And their fate, as such, is to constantly lose all the blessings and goodness that Israel and the world attempt to put into their hands.  And then, when they look down into their empty hands, they cry foul and search for someone else to blame. And that is exactly the story of Eisav in this weeks Torah portion.  And it is a warning to us all.  Because deep down inside, each and every one of us has the potential to let our emotions blind us.  And each and every one of us sometimes makes the mistake of letting our pride lead our decision-making.  And each and every one of us faces moments when our passion or our emotions blinds us to everything except what we want. And in those moments, we risk losing the very blessings we covet. Attached please find a Shu-Shine for the Torah portion of 'Toldot': "Owning Your Choices, Even When They Hurt". May we all be blessed to see past our emotions and judge all situations wisely, making the best choices when they matter most, and accepting responsibility for the results both when they are to our liking and when the are there to teach us. With Love and a Smile, ~Shu

How to Change the World

Did you ever wonder what God wants from you?  Did you ever wonder what it means to live a truly meaningful life?  What is it that ultimately defines our relationship with God, our relationship with ourselves, and our relationship with one another? Attached please find a Shu-Shine for the Torah portion of 'Lech Lecha: "How to Change the World". May we all be blessed to connect to our inner voice, follow its call, and bring all we have to offer to the people around us. With Love and a Smile, ~Shu

Arriving Late, But Right on Time

Looking around a synagogue, one might think that Yom Kippur is a contest of who can cry the hardest, feel the worst about himself or herself, and generally beat himself or herself up as much as possible. It kind of reminds me of that scene in Wayne's World where they meet Alice Cooper, and fall down at his knees and start bowing and saying: "We're not worthy!  We're not worthy!!" But the Truth is -- and yes, it is the "Truth" with a capital "T" -- the Truth is that Yom Kippur has gotten lost.  After 2,000 years of exile, it's meaning and Spirit have been forgotten by most.  Because the Talmud is very, VERY specific, and it tells us that Yom Kippur is one of the happiest days of the year! Yep, that's right!  A super-happy day!!  Crazy...  You never would have known it from visiting a synagogue. Why is Yom Kippur so happy?  It's quite simple, actually.  It is happy, because God is our Father.  It is happy because God is our Friend.  And it is happy because before you even got to Synagogue to hear the Kol Nidrei services -- the profound opening service of Yom Kippur -- you were already forgiven for every mistake you have made over the past year, and God is blowing wind in your sails for the best year of your life to come! Unconditional forgiveness.  Amazing. Because a father doesn't hold a grudge against his child.  He only does what he must to teach his child the right pathway to walk upon.  And HaShem is exactly the same way with us. We just have to know how to use the power of the day of Yom Kippur to get ourselves ready to grab that amazing opportunity, and set up the coming year to be all that it can be. Attached please find a Shu-Shine for Yom Kippur: "Arriving Late, But Right on Time". May we all be blessed to feel HaShem's unconditional love as we enter the synagogue this Yom Kippur, and as we rise to meet the gift of each day of your lives over the year to come. This weeks shu-shine is dedicated to the wonderful bride and groom, Shimon and Devra -- May HaShem bless you with an amazing year of love and joy and ever-inreasing understanding of one another. With Love and a Smile, ~Shu

Return to Yourself

This week is Shabbat Shuva - the Shabbat of "returning".  It falls between Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur, and it is a special time wherein we have a unique ability to hear the call of our souls -- our inner-selves -- and to "return" to the person we have always been meant to be. What a gift!!  What an opportunity!! But then... Y'see, you don't really know me.  You don't know how badly I've screwed up.  Some things just can't be fixed.  Some things are just too shameful to forgive. Returning to my inner self sounds like a beautiful idea.  But I can't help feeling that I've wandered too far away, and maybe I am simply "lost".  Maybe even for good. But there is good news.  It might sound crazy, but HaShem saw you make every mistake you ever made.  And believe it or not, He forgave you at the very moment you made your mistake.  So guess what??  You are not totally lost.  You are not beyond redemption.  You were never alone. But here is the challenge: You just have to be able to look in the mirror and forgive yourself. Attached please find this weeks Shu-Shine on the Torah portion of 'VaYelech' and Shabbat Shuva: "Return to Yourself". May we all be blessed to reconnect with our pure inner-voice, to fall in love with the person in the mirror, and to forgive ourselves for being the natural human beings that we are. This weeks shu-shine is dedicated to the friend who called me on Thursday, asking if I was disappointed in him.  Please, love yourself as much as your friends and family do; and forgive yourself for being human. O:-) With Love and a Smile, ~Shu

A Prayer for Peace

"Today the world was born.  Today, every being in the the world stands in judgement.  Perhaps as children...  perhaps as servants..." This is the central meditation of the Rosh HaShana prayer service.  This is the heart of our prayers. We are all so very connected to each other.  And in our deepest hearts, we feel such a strong love for one another.  And all we each wish for is peace.  Joy.  Laughter.  Love. But sometimes the barriers get in the way.  Sometimes we become too stressed.  Sometimes we allow ourselves to become too cynical.  Sometimes we fall asleep at the wheel.  Sometimes we get too caught up in our own drama.  Sometimes we are just too shy... But now is the time to LOVE OUT LOUD.  Now is the time to SMILE OUT LOUD.  Now is the time to give those we appreciate a hug and a kind word, and to tell them how very much they mean to us.  Now is the time to do an extra good deed, even if it means going out of your way, or missing a 'seemingly important' deadline. There are harbingers of war in the world.  There are helpless children crying.  There are regimes that do not care for their citizens.  There are fellow human beings without hope. They are all part of our family.  We are all so infinitely and delicately connected.  And today the world was born... Please, turn on the lights of your love and your smile and your kindness as bright as you can right now!  Today!!  Tomorrow!!  This week!!  This month!! Because your smile and your single act of kindness is what the whole world has been waiting for. Attached please find this weeks Shu-Shine on the Torah portion of 'Netzavim' and for Rosh HaShana: "A Prayer for Peace". May we all be blessed to shine our inner light with blinding brightness, lighting up the lives of all those we love, and lighting up the entire world. With Love and a Smile, ~Shu

Nobody Knows, So...

There are two kinds of saints.  Those who are righteous in public, and those who are righteous in private.  And similarly, there are two types of heroes.  Those who win public battles, and those who win private victories. Of course, it is so, so, so much harder to be of the second type of saint and hero.  Because no-one will likely ever sing your praises.  And there might never be a plaque in the town square in your honor. To be righteous in private is measured in how we treat our friends, our parents, our loved ones, and our spouses.  And to win a private victory is to subdue a temptation, to conquer a bad habit, to refrain from yelling at someone when we are angry, or to hold back from making a funny joke when it might embarrass another person.  Even if he or she would never know... It is a funny thing about human nature, but we actually didn't need the Torah to teach us to be public heroes and saints.  Somehow, the world has never been short of people ready to fill those coveted spaces in the limelight. Where we really need the Torah's encouragement, and where we really need to find the greatest resources of personal integrity and honor, is in waging battle to bring out the righteousness within.  We all need to find our superpowers, and become heroes of the secret world of love and integrity. And as we head towards a new year and the birthday of creation, which takes place on Rosh HaShanah (in a week and two days!), and which will culminate on the Holiday of Succot -- we must all know and understand that the perfect world we dream of -- a world of peace and human brotherhood and sisterhood -- can only be made up of individually true and honorable individuals. So that personal battle -- the one inside you -- is the most important one of all.  It is the one that the whole world is depending on. Attached please find this weeks Shu-Shine on the Torah portion of 'Ki Tavo': "Nobody Knows, So...". May we all be blessed to bring honor and integrity to the private side of our lives, and to fill the rooms of our heart with the trophies of love, respect, patience, honesty, forgiveness, and contentment. This weeks shu-shine is dedicated to Michael Boxer, a spiritual man who is asking all the right questions, and to Kate Glass, and amazing Jewish woman who has been on a long journey home. With Love and a Smile, ~Shu

Don't Doubt if for a Second!

I really wanted to share some insights on the weekly Torah portion.  But I doubted that anyone would want to listen, so I didn't.         Ever. OK, that is not a true story.  But imagine if it were!  This shu-shine would not be reaching you right now, and neither would the ones that you have been receiving for almost two years now.  And they would not be reaching nearly 200 other people who have asked to join our weekly community.  And of course, the process has challenged me to consistently study the weekly Torah portion, and just as my life is unique, so are the ideas that percolate in my mind.  And none of that would have ever existed.  It would have never been born to the world, if I had gotten trapped behind my doubts. And yes, I had them.  We all do. And now think: How many things are you not doing, because a doubt is holding you back?  How many dreams are you not pursuing? How many relationships are you holding yourself back from, even those that are most important to you and with those that you are closest with (wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, neighbor, teacher, mentor, rabbi, priest) -- because you doubt that your love will be returned or your needs will be understood? Doubt is a form of living death.  We are there; but the places where we stop at the wall of doubt are places that never come to life.  And our lives are much to precious not to live them to their fullest! Attached please find this weeks Shu-Shine on the Torah portion of 'Ki Teitzei': "Don't Doubt it for a Second!". May we all be blessed to push through our doubts, and discover the amazing gifts of life, love, relationships, and exhilarating experiences that wait for us on the other side. With Love and a Smile, ~Shu

The Responsibility of Life

Every life contains a series of thresholds.  Moments when we stand at a doorway from one stage of life to another, moments when we make choices that define our friendships.  Moments when we make decisions that very much define our character and who we are.  There are gateways of friendship.  Gateways of love.  Professional gateways.  Communal gateways.  National gateways.  And of course, deeply personal gateways. It goes without saying that it is of utmost importance that we be highly aware when we are making such choices and walking through these gates.  But how do we accomplish that?  What are the signs and markers that we can set up for ourselves, so that we are alert to the important choices that we each make?  Certainly, those markers are a personal creation; what reminds one person of his or her values might be useless to another person.  Every person's journey is personal, and therefore the ways that we keep ourselves alert on our journey are also very personal. It is this challenge that this weeks Torah portion highlights.  The signs we set up for ourselves might vary, but we must create them.  And we must always remain alert to the great gift of life we each enjoy, and the responsibilities that come with that wonderful gift. Attached please find this weeks Shu-Shine on the Torah portion of 'Shoftim': "The Responsibility of Life". May we all be blessed to always be alert to the important moments in our lives, to make wise choices at every crossroad, and to bring the most to ourselves and all around us through a deep and thoughtful journey of life. This shu-shine is dedicated to my awesome and beautiful wife, Yael, who is the wisest watch-woman I have ever met, who guards me at every gate, and helps me to always know when to move forward, and when to pause and consider another path.  You are the beacon on my ocean. With Love and a Smile, ~Shu